Quick Motivational Tip #13-Powerful Tools To Overcome Negativity
February 11th, 2008 | by Jeniffer |How Negative Feedback Derails Progress
We all know that fear and self doubt are the enemies to personal and professional progress.
These fears can be compounded by over planning and over thinking what it is that you are considering doing. You get so wrapped up in the planning phase, and your plan can become so complicated and grandiose, that you never actually do anything.
Negative reinforcement from others adds to the self doubt and fear that may be holding you back
Negative reinforcement from ourselves, in the form of how we “talk” to ourselves, does the same thing
There is not only fear of failure which affects people in this manner. Fear of success can also be debilitating. You think–what if I succeed, and am expected to perform in a similarly successful fashion again? What if my one success was just a fluke?
Friends and acquaintances also have an enormous impact on your success. They can lift you, providing positive feedback and encouragement to help carry you through to your goals.
Or they can belittle your dreams and your efforts, stifling your drive to succeed with their own doubts and insecurities.
Be aware of who you spend much of your time with. Are they positive, upbeat people who will encourage your success, or negative people whose own self-dislike is reflected onto all those around them, and who will suck every bit of enthusiasm from your life?
What You Can Do Now To Defeat Self Doubt and Negative Input
Make an effort to avoid those who will affect you badly.
Seek out and spend time with like minded individuals as much as possible.
Make an effort to spend time with upbeat, encouraging people.
Take the negative feedback of others into consideration. If it is legitimate and somehow helpful, put it to use to inspire change in your plan. If it is brought on by their own negativity, discard it.
Each time that fear begins to creep in, whether brought on by yourself or others, imagine what it is you would do if you did not feel that fear. Then do it.
You can build up confidence in your own abilities by accomplishing several smaller challenges, teaching and reinforcing in you your own ability to succeed. That is one of the reasons it is a good idea to break a large goal into several smaller ones. Not only does the accomplishment of each small goal eventually lead you to your larger goal, it also reinforces your confidence that you are in fact able to achieve that larger goal.
Don’t believe you have had any accomplishments in your life?
Make a list, right now, of every accomplishment you can think of. Include learning to walk, ride a bike, drive a car, ski, toilet training, if you like–everything was new to you the first time that you did it. Most you can now do without thinking. Learning to do it successfully was one of your accomplishments.
Keep this list handy for days when you may be feeling less than confident about seeing one of your goals through.
Anyone who can learn a language, whatever yours happens to be, can do just about anything they set out to do.
Every once in awhile, we just need to remind ourselves that this is true.
2 Responses to “Quick Motivational Tip #13-Powerful Tools To Overcome Negativity”
By Nick Pagan on Feb 17, 2008 | Reply
Fear and self-doubt is justified if we attempt to do things that we don’t really have the competence to do. If other people’s negative comments resonate with me then it’s usually because they highlight either a lack of competence, a lack of certainty or else a denial of inability (similar to lack of competence only it hurts a lot more!).
The best way to deal with fear and self-doubt is to work well within our levels of competence. Then we are in touch with our dependable capabilities and we can act confidently.
If the fear and self-doubt is real then either attempt lesser things or develop levels of ability so that more difficult things can be accomplished readily. Do the development gradually and don’t overreach yourself.
Dealing with uncertainty is always difficult. Lots of preparation to deal with the unexpected can help but sometimes you just have to commit and accept the outcome - even it it’s a painful one….