Family Friday
March 21st, 2008 | by Jeniffer |I am no expert on families, but within my family, I have found certain things to be true, and certain things which work better than others.
Your family may be different than mine; what works for one may not work for everyone.
Read these tips and ideas, see if they apply to your family, try them out if you like, or add your own tips/thoughts/ideas.
Comments are always most welcome!
1)Let your kids know you love them.
Tell them.
Show them.
Make it obvious to others.
I have told my daughter, who is now eight years old, that I love her every single day since she was born.
She now rolls her eyes in an “aww, mom!” kind of fashion, but beneath the exterior signs of embarrassment or annoyance, I can see her little girl smile.
Kids have to know they are loved, for who they are, unconditionally.
I also give that child a hug every single day, although again, because she is 8, that has been narrowed down to the before bedtime hug for good night.
My two year old son, on the other hand…he eagerly accepts and recipricates all affection I can lavish upon him (although sometimes he does push me away in favor of a toy!).
Let your kids know they are loved.
2) Be consistent with your rules.
Unacceptable behaviours are unacceptable behaviours, and should be treated as such.
If you are part of a parenting team, make sure both parents know what the rules are, and back each other up in enforcing them.
3) If your child does do something wrong, be certain they understand that it was the action which was wrong, and that does not equal something being wrong with them.
They need to understand that, just because they have done something wrong (such as swatting another child), that does not mean anything is wrong with them, or that they are less loved.
4) Early on (such as when they are a baby), keep to as regular a schedule as you can.
This was not so easy with my son, because my daughter is in school and he has to be flexible around her schedule of coming and going, but a schedule does help immeasurably. Kids need to know what is expected of them, and when.
Knowing what to expect gives them a sense of security.
5) When your child does something new, give them a ton of praise.
Even if it took them four times as long as it would have taken you to do, praise them like crazy.
And if what they are doing is helping around the house, don’t expect perfection.
Just be glad they have tried, and praise, praise, praise, to encourage future efforts.
6) Do not give children an allowance in return for work they do around the house.
I do not give my daughter an allowance because of work done around the house.
She does help out around the house, because that is what being a part of the family means doing.
She gets an allowance to help her learn money management skills.
She buys treats and such with a portion of it, (reluctantly) saves a portion of it, and puts some away for the biggerr purchases she desires. I’m working on talking her into giving some to charity.
“Until you become a parent, you can’t begin to discover your capacity for strength, love, and fatigue.”-Peter Gallagher
General Tips to Help Keep Your Family Organized
1) Get the kids (and your) clothes ready beforehand.
I do this the night before, but if you are truly organized, you can do it weekly.
Set the kids socks, underwear, pants, skirts, tops, sweaters–whatever they will need, into a neat pile on their dresser, or wherever you would like.
For those who prefer to prepare for an entire week, there are plastic drawers you can place outfits in (labelling the drawers by day of the week), or get hanging “cubicles” that hang from the closet, labelling each section for a different day, and use those.
2) Once they are old enough, let them pick out their own clothes.
Having them do so empowers them, and gives a boost to their confidence.
Let them do other things for themselves, as well, to promote independence.
Initially, having a very young child put on their socks or pants for themselves may take longer, but that is how they will learn to do it. And they will become more proficient over time.
3) Have fun with your kids.
Laugh, hug, play.
They are only little for such a short time.
Enjoy them while they are.
And take lots of pictures!
4) Do at least one complete load of laundry per day, to prevent it piling up.
5) Clean as you go, and teach them to do the same.
Stuff You Can Do The Day Before
1) Prepare lunches for all family members.
2) Pack school bags, sign all permission forms, check through their homework.
3) Leave their jackets, boots, mitts, hats, and school bags–with all necessary paperwork, etc–beside the door where they will not forget to grab them in the morning.
4) Tell your kids you love them.
I know I said this one already, but it’s important enough to deserve repeating.
Have any suggestions, comments, or tips on this matter? Why not share them in the comments! Comments are always most welcome.
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