The Thirty Day Year

Maria Gajewski is a researcher by day, writer of Never the Same River Twice by night, and just recently finished a 30 day fast to raise money for charity. Her blog explores the impact of change and change management on our personal, organizational and community lives. She thinks it’s really cool that the world keeps changing. It keeps us all from getting bored.

When Jeniffer invited me to contribute to “The Achievers” series, I was honored, but also had a dilemma to deal with. On my blog, I talk pretty often about how even major life decisions, like whether to stay married or get divorced, have very little to do with happiness. I know it sounds crazy, but there is some pretty solid research to back up those claims.

On the other hand, I think change is the most fascinating thing, and it was an interesting exercise for me to think back through my life and try to figure out what forks in the road got me to where I am today. That’s how I approached this post. The list that follows contains 5 events or influences that seem to have been critical changes for me.

1. A Library Card. I grew up in a town of about 2,000 people. It didn’t have much, but it did have a library. Every other Saturday, from the time I was 5 or 6 years old until I could drive, my mom packed up the family and set us loose in there. I read my way through entire shelves, and estimate I probably got through about 25% of all the holdings before I graduated high school. The only things I skipped where the paperback romance novels and the encyclopedias!

Why it was important: Because I grew up out in the country and didn’t have a lot of opportunities to travel, the library was my way to see the world. I learned about other cultures, other lifestyles, and other locations. My extensive reading gave me a lot of perpective on the options available to me.

2. A Mentor. When I was really struggling through the angst of adolescence, I was very lucky to have an adult in my life other than my parents that I could talk to. He listened to me - sometimes for hours - in a very nonjudgemental way, and gave me great suggestions for how to deal with all the situations that seemed so important at the time. I still talk to him today and he’s been a great model of the way to live a life.

Why it was important: People tend to lose perspective when we’re in an emotional place. By having a more experienced person’s viewpoint to draw from, I learned how to figure out if something was important, or merely annoying.

3. A Guitar and a Script. I got involved in performing arts at a pretty young age. When I turned 11 my parents bought me my first “real” guitar and sent me to lessons once a week. My sophomore year in high school, I decided to audition for a play and kept acting all through high school. It’s been a long time since I did any acting, but I now proudly display my guitars on my living room wall.

Why it was important: Performing in public is a great confidence builder. Mistakes are definitely going to happen, so you have to learn to pay attention, improvise, and keep going. After doing this for a few years, I’m now completely comfortable speaking in public, even if I haven’t prepared very well. I also don’t fear public humiliation - it hasn’t killed me yet!

4. A Rejection Letter. I was a good student in high school, but I still didn’t get into the program that I wanted at my first choice university. Ouch! I ended up attending my second choice university, beginning in the same program I wanted, and switching majors after my first semester! The university turned out to be a great choice for me. I met wonderful human beings, studied with some true geniuses, and learned more academically and personally than I ever could have hoped. I kept the rejection letter on my dorm room wall for four years.

Why it was important: That rejection was my first glimpse at the idea that even major changes don’t have much influence on future happiness. At the time, it seemed like my life was going to end. It actually turned out pretty well. It also gave me a much needed prick in my over-inflated 17 year old ego!

5. A Gray T-shirt. I graduated in college in 1999 - the absolute height of the tech stock bubble. I had classmates taking jobs for $90,000 a year right out of college, going to work for tech companies, investment banking firms, and Big 5 consulting firms. Something about all that made me feel queasy, so I joined AmeriCorps for $75 a week. While I was in AmeriCorps, I did everything from gutting houses that had been flooded out during Hurricane Floyd, to tutoring kids in Washington D.C. public schools. It was REALLY hard, but I met great people, saw very different parts of the country, and ultimately decided to pursue a career in the nonprofit sector.

Why it was important: By committing to a short term change (the program is only 10 months long), I ended up changing the direction of my career. Before AmeriCorps I planned to take an academic track and teach at a university. By seeing more of the world, I realized that I wanted to make a more immediate impact.

As I look over this list now, I realize that there is a bigger lesson hiding in here: You never know what moment, what choice, or what circumstance is going to take your life in directions you never imagined. Keep your eyes open and enjoy the ride!