Compared To What?
July 14th, 2008 | by Jeniffer |
photo credit: thebusybrain
Many of us have an unfortunate tendency to compare aspects of ourselves and of our lives to that of others.
Women, especially, tend to do this, in particular with regards to their physical form and appearance.
As teenagers, we may even go so far as to compare our body parts with those of others.
As though having “nicer” legs or higher cheekbones or larger breasts could somehow ensure our happiness.
It’s a ridiculous pastime, and can only set us up for failure.
Men also can fall into the comparison trap.
Salaries, vehicles, the looks of their friends’ current companions, whether or not their buddy has six pack abs or bulging biceps–all can be quietly scrutinized and compared, filed for future reference.
Part of the reason we do this is society’s preoccupation with toys.
Part of it may be blamed on a warped idea of what it means to be successful.
Bigger, faster, stronger; larger engines, huge tires, bigger, Bigger, BIGGER, more, more, more.
Already driving a nice little Civic?
Great!
Now, take a look at this SUV over here-isn’t that what you really want? Your buddies would be absolutely green with envy!
And let’s not forget jewellery.
Wouldn’t it be great to be flashing gold from every orifice? Why not add a couple of places while we’re at it–that guy over there did, and we know what good taste he has! Just look at his girlfriend!
It’s incredible, how extreme this comparing of what we have, and what we believe we are, to others can become.
Next time you find yourself doing this, stop for a moment to notice: does this comparison make you feel good about yourself? Does it make you feel good about your accomplishments, your ability to secure a life you will be proud of and look back on when the time comes with pride? How does it make you feel about the other person?
Do you honestly think “Good for Phil. He deserves a great life!” or do you wonder why he has whatever he has that you don’t, seethe inwardly, and look upon the world with a greedy, “I want it all until I have it, then I want even MORE!!!” kind of attitude.
A certain amount of honest admiration for the material possessions of another may be a healthy thing. It may be what you need to keep you moving towards goals of your own, seeing the coveted item as a prize to be earned by improving your lot in life.
If it is something which brings only negativity, self-doubt and envy, it is something you should work towards changing.
Begin by taking a good, honest look at your own life.
Really consider how fortunate you are. Think of the things others may see you as possessing, that they do not.
Perhaps you have an impeccable way of dressing.
Perhaps you have talent in the arts, such as musical talent or painting.
Perhaps you can light up an entire room with your smile, or pick up a conversation which has been flailing, infusing it with energy and enthusiasm like no other person they know can do.
Perhaps you are the one with the giant SUV, the huge house, fabulous jewellery and great winery.
Wherever you are in your life today, you worked to get there.
You have dreams for your future, friends who care about you, not what you can do, buy, or be for them.
Acknowledging what you have, being truly grateful for being where you are, what you are, and who you are, is one of the greatest weapons against the tendency to compare yourself to standards other than your own.
Comparing yourself only to standards which are yours, which resonate with what you feel deep inside to be true, is another.
Wield these weapons daily, and you will defeat the green-eyed monster of the meaningless.
Nothing can compare to that.
